Final Exam

Let see what are those courses we learned
these semester,
Oh yeah,they were
Betrayal,abondment and failure,
At the end of the 14 weeks sem,
these was the sprint to the finals,
moment of confusion,headache and not feeling worth it,
fearing after the day before exams,
only to feel the joy on the day after the exam,
out beyond the grave,
with the new spirit on the way,
about to embark on the another new semester,
another same old routine.

April Fool

Someone took my toothpaste tube and filled it with jam,
Someone changed my my sandwich into fluffernut-and ham,
Someone laced my sneakers so that they tie down by my toes,
Someone changed the vacuumso that it didn't suck,it blows!
Someone poured the sugar out and filled it with salt!,
Someone messed up with the clocks and made it seem my fault!
Since all that happened yesterday,its April Fool!

Music Loving Dentist

"All or nothin' at all,half a love never appealed to me...........I hummed the song lyrics to myself.What a wonderful song.A soft harmonius melody to my ear bud.I feel exalted just to hear those few song lines caressing my ear.'Dr,your next patient is waiting outside,can I call him in?'my nurse asked interrupting my humming."yeah,sure call him in"I instructed her.After a few seconds came in a slender looking woman in her mid-twenties.She looked lovely with a soft milky complexion contrasting heavily with her jet black hair.A nicely cut fringe framing her face."Dr,I came to get the dentures I ordered few months back.As she opened her mouth to speak ,I shuddered inwardly gazing at her toothles mouth."My name is Jeslyn,I lost all my teeth during an accident"she resumed."Oh,yeah sure.Your dentures is ready,I can fix it now.I replied back.As she sit on the chair,a song came into my mind and I egun to hum it softly,"?The likes of you may never be,attracted to the likes of me,but accident will happen and ill be around.....'As I start to fix those dentures,thousands of song begun flooding my mind,each of it begging me to choose it.After letting my mind to wander,I begun to hum my ever favourite song,"All Of You" by Frank Sinatra,my music Hero.By the time I finished with her,I had hummed almost fifteen songs that came into my mind.I gave Jeslyn a mirror and told her to look at it,"Are you satisfied?"I asked her."Yes doctor ",she replied."It will take you around one week to get adjusted to it"I informed her.She said thank you with an ear to ear smile and left my surgery room.A moment later my receptioninst entered my room and handed me a ribbon wrapped stack of brand new CD's of assorted singer's.'A gift for you from a patient who came last week with fractured teeth crown,she informed me.I happily took the gift,examined it and put in inside my bag."Next patient please,I called.While the next one entering the room,I continued humming....'What a day this has been,What a rare mood Im in...................

Firecracker

When the sky sparks,
of many-coloured fire speckles,
Appear at the night,
In ordinary windows.

Our festive is here,
We hear and sing,
Lets everyman be jolly,
And lets all be merry.

And thought how,
as the day had come,
the firecracker,
appearing at night.

He smiles.....

He smiles at me and at that instant I feel a rush of warm maternal love flooding my body.His smile lit up his whole face. Sitting at the podium watching him perform a dance routine with that cute face of his with intense concentration brings a sense of gratefulness to me.To think that I almost lost this precious moment make me shudder with remorse.His oblique almond shaped brown eyes gazes at me as if to say "watch me mum,they say I'm retarded but I can dance and sing like the rest of the kids too" My mind begins to wander to the event that happened long time ago.

(10 years ago)

"I'm sorry Mrs.Amelia,but from your Chronic Vilus Sampling(CVS),we have detected that your fetus has presence of an extra 21st chromosome.To put it in a layman term,your child has 95% chances of being born with Down syndrome.It's chromosomal disorder that causes some impairment of cognitive ability and physical growth and a particular set of facial characteristic",Dr.Chiew my doctor explained to me.I found myself trying to control the tears that threatening to flow anytime."Why me?",I spluttered to him."Just take it easy Amelia,the incident of having Down syndrome baby is estimated at 1 per 800 births and its statistically common with older mother like you"he pauses ,looking at me with concern and continues,"however fortunately,you have the choice of aborting your child,I'll give you time to think about it but personally I advice you not to have this baby,but again,its your choice.I'll see u again next week",and by that he left the room.

I stared at the brightly painted yellow wall, my heart drops into my stomach and it twists.Why me?,the question keep disturbing my mind.I have waited for 20 years without a child.A son or daughter of my own,to care and pamper with so much love.To cherish every single moment of my baby growing up.Watching him/her taking the first step,uttering the first word and the first fall,and without any warning my tears fall.I wept with all my heart clutching my stomach.Clutching the baby I'm failing to give birth.With all the courage I could summon,I walked out of the clinic towards the parking area into my car.I started the engine and drove aimlessly around the city.Thinking about what happened earlier.My mind still in shock unable to comprehend the situation.Little by little I let the news to settle in my brain.Finally,around 3 hours later I got back home too exhausted,took a hot shower and fall into the bed besides my husband.

He tried questioning me many times but I ignored him.I'm not ready to break the news to him.He will be shattered.I closed my eyes trying to block out the events happened earlier and stared at the darkness allowing myself to drift into sleep.Suddenly I feel myself falling,down I go,falling then floating and falling again awaiting the land,I tried to scream but no voice came out.At that moment a hand grasped me, a hand that was so huge.There was no human form,just a big hand with blinding bright light illuminating the hand.The hand saved me from falling and gave me a baby,and with that I woke up,taking shallow breaths, I immediately woke my husband up."What's up sweetie,you had a nightmare?",he asked."Its okay everything will be alright soon"and he kissed my forehead.I hugged him tightly and cried,"I'm going to have the baby!My husband stared at me as if I lost my head.I hold his hand and proceeded telling him the whole story.When I'm finished,he cupped my face and told me,''Yes honey,we are going to have this baby no matter what and we will give our child the world of happiness that our baby deserves"

I woke up that morning with a light heart.After finishing all the household chores I went online.I typed "down syndrome" on yahoo search engine and more than 78,600,000 result flooded my laptop screen,with a trembling hand I clicked on it.After reading almost 1o web pages,a sense of alarm ticked me.Having a down syndrome child is no stroll in the park,it needs constant care,love support and conducive environment.In order to have a special child,I need to be a special mother.Can I be that mother?A quote that I read some time back came into my mind,"God cant be everywhere,so he created mother's"Can I be a God to my child?Every child born into this world is god gift to humans.Who am I to destroy a child's life just because he/she is special.Is Down Syndrome so crippling as to make life not worth living for my child?After pondering about that I prayed to God to bless my decision.I'm going to have this baby and nothing nor anyone can change my mind.

Eight months and two weeks later I gave birth to a healthy and glowing baby boy.For me,he is the most beautiful baby I ever laid my eyes on.For others,his unusually round face,oblique eyes and flat nasal bridge may look awkward and ugly but for me I felt the softness of his skin,saw a warm glow from his eyes and a sensed steady beating heart that that seems to remind me that I'm indeed fortunate to have him in my arms.I named him Abhar,it means 'the glowing one'

Thunder of claps brought me back to present world.Proud parents were clapping their hands together enthusiastically to honor their child.Now,looking at the face of Abhar reminds me of how lucky I'm to have him in my life and hows close I came to losing that.In the years to come I'm very sure that my child will live a happy life as he is a survivor.

My fav fictional character JOJO

At last........a topic that needs no brainstorming...who's my fave fictional character?no doubt its Jojo.She wins hands down.Jojo is a character i encounter from one of the novel i read almost 3 years back but somehow the depth of her character made her to be etched on my mind forever.She represent the women I yearns to be but somehow i cant find the courage to change myself at point blank.She is a woman who is feisty,confident and ambitious.The 3 personalities that I feel lacking on me.Jojo is a very likeable character without being a big shouldered caricature and its very easy for women to relate with and get inspired by her.I would defiantly say that the author Marian Keyes worked really hard on getting her character right. Jojo is high flying literary agent who like any other human being in this world made a terrible mistake by succumbing to a love affair with her boss Mark.Her married boss!Its easy for anyone to relate to her.All of us have had been in a position where we find ourselves in a destructive relation.We know it will eventually harm us on the long run but we find ourselves addicted or worse in denial over this situation.(You don't? sorry then but i do)But she had the will in herself to break off and leave her job to start afresh.To be frank,how many of us have the guts to leave our comfortable and even profitable surrounding in order to feel liberated from our own self guilt?Few,almost to none but she did.She said goodbye and never looked back ever since.I just crave to have the self determination she does.
Not only that,she has some weight issues with her but she never let that get to her.I wish I could do the same.Hearing people commenting about how fat or chubby I'm becoming is no fun.She is a fictional character that sprung to life in my world.

High Fidelity

Hmm ,well talking about fidelity I draw a big blank point in my head..Fidelity???hmmm totally unheard off...infidelity,yeah always hearing those things from all the celebrity magazines laying around.Those high glam celebrities breaking up and citing infidelity as a reason.What's actually fidelity?,to put it in a nice and simple word it means faithfulness to obligation,so you are only being faithful because you obliged to be?not because you want to be faithful?so am I being not faithful to my boyfriend by my innocent flirting with the cashier guy at KFC?Lets take a look at the classic wedding vow:

"I, (Name)
Take you,(Name),
To be my (wife/husband);
To have and to hold,
From this day forward,
For better,for worse,
For richer,for poorer,
In sickness and in health,
To love and to cherish,
"Till death do us apart"or(As long as we both shall live)

I don't see any promises to stay faithful.....I don't see any "to love,to cherish and to be faithful" For me fidelity is just an overrated excuse in a relationship.But by saying that I didn't mean to sound like a cheating girlfriend.Fidelity is someting that you do because you want to do that not because its a rule in a relationship.I'm being faithful to my boyfriend because I love him and its my way of honouring him.I'm not being faithfull because he wants me to do so its because I want to do so.This brings a world of differences in a relationship.Sometimes I wonder whether it is a virtue that is soon dying out from relationships.Forgive me please as I'm not interested in sounding so self righteousness but in relationship we pick n choose to be close to someone because there is that 'need' ,that 'urge' that 'something' in our nature that makes us want to be that special person to somebody.So we pick n choose and and once we've choosen we tend to stick close to that person,no matter how much we are hurt by them or we have hurt them.Once you have made the choice to be faithful to someone because its the right thing to do then its no more relationship,its an obligation.Its no more Love its Responsibility.